Let’s face it, we do flatter daily in real life either sincerely or on purpose. There is no secret that flattering is also a widely used social media marketing tool. With it you can get more social friends, their support and help, and establish yourself as a social network power user.
Didn’t you once [or twice or multiple times] make a “great-post” comment? Didn’t you once approach a power niche marketer with “I-enjoyed-your-article” message? Didn’t you once cite an expert and link back to him? Isn’t that flattering? Let’s call a spade a spade: don’t be a goody – accept it, you do flatter now and then no matter for what reasons. [Ok, to please die-hard skeptics out there I can call that ‘praising’ or ‘complimenting’]. Anyway no matter how you prefer to call it, the main thing is to do it right. There are five principles [let’s say 5 social media unwritten rules] that can ensure a positive feedback from the person you are [cough] complimenting: (1) Do it timely; (2) Do it sincerely; (3) Do it expertly; (4) Do it moderately; (5) Do it creatively.
- Why time is important? If you are too new to the community, your flattering is too evident. Yes, the right to flatter should also be earned [like anything else btw]. If you are an established user, praising is no more viewed as flattering – it is now a positive evaluation. So don’t hurry to send “you-are-so-great” message once you join a social media network. First get noticed with your hard work and value you add to the community.
- Flatter sincerely – yes, this is evident. Say something only if you feel you should. Being unnatural is always evident no matter how hard you try to hide it.
- Expert evaluation wins respect. Don’t say you like someone’s work – add why you like it and what you like most. Be specific, if you are well acquainted with the person’s work [and this is a must], that will be no problem.
- Again, no hurry! Plenty of flattering a day or per post seems unnatural. That’s what I call “brown nosing” [well, there is a more precise word for that but I am a too well-mannered girl to use it];
- Being creative is important in everything. There are plenty of ways to show your respect and praise: private message via your common SM, a well-reasoned comment at the person’s blog, email, link to his post, etc. Linking is one of the best choices. Your friends are clever people, they are most likely to try to promote a post linking to them. Promoting your promoters is a well-known and most effective [for both sides] technique.
Well, if you follow the rules, you are most likely to succeed. Remember a good flattery is always good. Few people can resist it. A well-done flattery adds value; it’s never irritating or annoying. Instead that’s a good way to grab attention and build friendship. So good luck to you, if you do it right, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
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It’s actually quite right.
Can i have your babies now ?
Consider the flattery of a link well recieved 🙂
Hi, Shady! Thanks for stopping by! You got it right, man 😉
Well done…A Smarty Post :.)
Funny to see this here… I was just moderating some comments this weekend and while a few were generic ‘great post’ compliments, yours stood out there, using different vocabulary and getting specific. Plus I knew you obviously, so…
Heh, I saw it on Jeff Quipp’s SU, then thought nice, I’ll get it to Sphinn – only to find Dosh sniped it first lol. Sphunn!
At risk of sounding cliche’ what an astounding post!
No. 3 holds special place in my social etiquette – no point commenting just to say “wicked post” eh?
Wow, Rishil, glad to see you here! What a nice surprise! Thanks for passing by!
First time visiting!
Clever article. I think point 1 is very important. A stranger usually doesn’t have enough charisma or style to flatter effectively, especially in print. You have to let down your defenses a bit and have at least a tiny bit of trust established in order to be receptive. Unless you’re an attention, um, seeker.
Question: why do you use [square brackets] throughout you post instead of (curved brackets)?
@Mark:  I like ho it looks,  just for a change,  call me lazy but  do not require holding ‘Shift’ on my keyboard 🙂
Thanks for the feedback btw!
There are two methods of ‘flattering’.
1. Uninterested and occurs after you have received help and you just say thanks.
2. The other (the one I hate) occurs BEFORE the help you expect to receive. It’s a stealth request actually.
I really wonder what comes after the: I-enjoyed-your-article approach. And you said it well: approach. You didn’t say comment which would have been just a simple: ‘Cool! Keep up! (Your content helped me and might continue to do so.)’. When you use approach you have a goal. You want something 🙂 (I can live with that … you’re a girl.)
Also do learn from the experiences of:
Flattering is a stealth mind game. One should not talk about it but just do it!
PS: I’d rather take a request from someone (That I might accept) then a thank you followed by request (Which I never accept – a principle of mine).
@ 5ubliminal: I think you might have missed the important point here: I said ‘be sincere’ and that’s already quite a new view of flattery, right? You are right, I could have written the same post but name it “The art of commenting” and use “comment” instead of “flattery” throughout the post – and the effect would have been quite different. Yes, I did that on purpose, I chose this word to start a discussion.
Btw, thank you for the links – very interesting examples.
I liked your article..
The best things is its not fake and the thing that I liked the most is your 2nd point,”Being unnatural is always evident no matter how hard you try to hide it.”
Thanks for sharing some good ideas from this article. I will follow your suggestions about social Media. Thanks! ill come back often.
Can you do a case study on SerpClix? I used it to move up 5 spots to #8, but it won’t move it further. Can you test it, or link me to a study where you have tested it?